no one will really understand most of the things in this thing. you're not suppose to though. this is for me, not you. lately, it feels like the worlds caving in. i've realized a lot lately and how almost none of this is what i want. i messed up. i pushed away a lot of people and things i cared about, for what? nothing. i got so wrapped up into something that didn't even matter. shows, parties and everything else became a majority of what i cared about, and now i'm only left with one person i know i can count on. i don't blame everyone else though, i brought this on myself. i get so confused and overwhelmed sometimes with the things i want. half the time, i don't really want them. but at that point in time, i feel like i do.
i doubt too much.
i'm never sure what i want.
and look where it's gotten me.
anyway, i want to go to the beach.
